I seriously hope you have a good reason for putting my best friend through this shit. I’m sincerely sorry about what has happened to you recently, but you have no right to put him through this bull-fucking-shit. As of right now, all I hear is my best friend crying. I don’t fucking appreciate it. You didn’t have to be such an ass about the whole fucking thing. You don’t just fucking make people believe you care so fucking much about them and then pull this shit. Fuck you and I hope you’re fucking miserable just like he is right now. You piece of shit. You better hope I never see you again. And if I do, you better hope you are surrounded by the fucking US Army. 

So today you said you were getting a little scared because your boyfriend seemed weird today. I told you not to worry, he just has a lot on his mind right now. I wish I could take my own advice. lol Even one day of not talking to you and I think “I’ve fucked up again, somehow. We’re never going to be the same. It’s over. He fucking hates me.” And then the next day, everything is fine. I’m sure everything is fine with him. He just has a lot going on right now. Just give it time. :] <3 I love you. Even though we don’t say it as much as we use to, I do love you. <3 

I dunno anymore. Like I can’t even stand to have a conversation with you. It just pisses me off. I can’t stand it. I think I hate you. I know it sounds stupid and harsh, but I still love you but I also hate you. I hate that you’re basically leaving me. Like I feel all alone now. It feels like we broke up. And now it’s awkward when we see each other or talk. I feel like our friendship is crumbling… And I know it’s my fault, but I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make myself happy. I wish I did.

Life sucks. I’ve been replaced by your boyfriend in every aspect, grades suck, this place sucks. My life sucks. I drove fast and half paying attention so I could possibly hit a pothole and lose control and then it’d all be an accident. Then  wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore. You’d could live life without worrying about me being upset with you. Mom wouldn’t have to worry about my bad grades. She’d have to worry about a new car though… I’ve been thinking about taking a few of her blood pressure pills… Maybe it’d be an easy way out… I dunno. I’m just tired of this feeling of dread and stress. I hate it… 

I just want my life to be over right now… You’ll talk to him about how bad your day is and what happened, but you won’t even say two words to me. I feel like I’m not good enough anymore. I was doing good. Then this. I dunno… I just want it all to be over… I’m about to just go to bed. Just leave the xbox party and go to bed. Not like you’ll care anyway. 

That did I tell you. It did take a while for it to come back though. It was a roller coaster of a day. I had ups and downs. Mostly downs, but when we were driving there and back for those, all together, 8 hours I couldn’t help but feel so close to you. But it kept pissing me off when you would bring him up every two seconds. I guess I really am annoying talking about you. I’m just as bad, if not worse than you. I really need to get away from here.